I dropped off AJ at preschool this morning � freedom, wonderful freedom! The last couple of days around here I�ve started thinking about rereading The Lord of the Flies. It�s all about survival, and I think my husband and I are on the losing end. AJ�s strategy seems to be divide and conquer. It�s not that my husband and I are in disagreement over child-rearing methodology so much as it�s that the person who hasn�t witnessed the whole process of tantrum formation leading into the meltdown is much more likely to cave on the commitment to consistency and discipline. This is, I suppose, the drawback of us both being at home. On the other had, the very big plus is that when one of us feels like we�re having a meltdown, there�s someone to bail you out. I really don�t know how single moms like eggsaucted do it.

But there ain�t no one who can manipulate like a two-year-old. He doesn�t even try to hide it like older kids will. It�s bald-faced. I kind of admire his gumption for that. For example, if I tell him he can�t climb on the bookshelf, he looks at me and says, �Mommy, bye-bye.� As if I�d say, �Okay. I�ll just leave now and because I KNOW you would never start climbing the bookshelf and quite possibly pull it over on your head.� Or sometimes he�ll just say, �I want Daddy!�

The only solution child-rearing experts seem to have come up with is the time out. Who are we kidding? Time outs are not for kids. They�re for parents. Two minutes of peace is surprisingly rejuvenating. Besides, it seems like most of the situations where one would use this technique of discipline actually get AJ what he wants in the first place. As this morning, when he was systematically dumping his breakfast on the floor, the time out solution would have taken him out of his chair, which he wanted, and put him in a room full of toys. Hmm. Enforced breakfast or free-range toys? Which one is the punishment again?

We had a whole pile of art projects waiting to be picked up this morning. I know that there are tons of books and websites devoted to project and curriculum development for preschool. But one of these objects was a little disturbing. It was one of those gourds that look like miniature pumpkins with some googly eyes glued on. The top of the pumpkin was painted with some blood red paint, which is dripping menacingly down the side of its face. The paint has been sprinkled with some multi-colored glitter and the stem is impaled with a tiny red paper maple leaf. I�m not sure what lesson this is designed to teach, but it would appear that my two-year-old is learning about gore (this site also finds some disturbing uses for googly eyes>. I didn�t think he�d get to that until at least kindergarten. But then again, the school specifically told us on several occasions that the two-year-old class was �about learning social skills not about curriculum.� At the time I recall thinking that statement was probably to fend off parents who were expecting their kids to enter kindergarten with a full command of Latin and Greek. Now I think they may be been subtly warning us. Perhaps I should pick up copies of Lord of the Flies for AJ�s teachers too.

And speaking of flies, it looks like the garbage strike may finally be over here in the Greater Chicago area. I have definitely been happy to be in the suburbs throughout this ordeal, where the mounds of trash are at least farther apart. However, there is still nothing like the smell of week-old dirty diapers wafting out of the garage at 7 a.m. to really make you feel alive. And to my comrades in arms against vermin and pestilence, Godspeed!

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