The weather forecasters led us astray. I was all ready for snow, but awoke to see the remains of last night�s blanket disintegrating in the morning drizzle. It is warm, wet and windy now, and somewhat sunny.

I seem to have inherited Lass� headache-induced surliness. Today�s headache is particularly capricious, leaving me just fine sometimes and with a searing pain radiating from the left base of my skull at others. It is alarming only because it is rather similar to the onset of migraines past, an affliction from which I have not suffered since becoming a vegetarian some 15 years ago. Migraines are one thing I am quite happy to have remain in my past.

Of course, some of this surliness may be the result of a shopping trip to Target this morning, along with about a million other people. Nothing like the toy aisles in Target before Christmas to make you think about the importance of zero population growth.

AJ, however, seems to have picked out his toys for Christmas: anything (and everything) that makes noise, has flashing lights, or moves under its own power. And Elmo.

I�ve been resisting Elmo, Barney and all those saccharine childhood icons that seem to be more about marketing than insight. For one thing, they drive me to the brink of insanity. The constant repetition needed by this age group is hard enough, but to have that which is repeated be so insipid, it�s probably about the most effective torture you could invent for me. I start to believe it�s possible to literally bore oneself to death. And I also am reminded of when the U.S. tried to drive Noriega out with rock music and am certain �I love you, you love me� over and over again would have been much more effective.

The other reason I have resisted them is that I am uncomfortable with children�s books/videos/what have you that seem to be ignorant of darker forces. I�m not saying kids should be constantly exposed to the difficult, but I don�t think it should be completely obliterated either. When I read or saw things like that as a kid, I always just thought the adults attached to such projects were kind of dumb. I mean, don�t they know what�s really going on? Or are they just hiding something, which means I can�t trust them?

Take Mr. Rogers, for instance. His show didn�t skirt the hard issues. It tackled them head on: everything from death to child abuse. But such issues were not the constant focus of attention and they were treated in age-appropriate ways and in manageable chunks so kids could process them and figure out ways to deal with them. AJ gets through every evening with Mr. Rogers� �You�ll never go down the drain.�

I�m inclined to think that the whitewashing of children�s programming and literature has more to do with adult fears than those of children. We are afraid of dark forces touching our children. We want to protect them, to keep them safe. So why not a singing purple dinosaur?

And in fairness to Barney, he does seem to have some educational value. Against my better judgment, I let AJ bring a Barney video home from the library last week in the interest of tantrum avoidance. While it has made me crazy, as a result of that video, AJ now reminds himself (and me) to �stop, look and listen� every time we get to a street crossing, and he seems to have taught himself the alphabet in sign language. But does he have to be so goddamned perky? And if you�re going to write such inane lyrics, at least do us the courtesy of writing an original tune!

This, however, is not really what I had in mind.

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