Copies of my c.v. are now touring the country. This round represents my top choices this year. Although I only applied to one of these schools as a student, they are all institutions I would have been happy to attend. Still, I�m having flashbacks. The last time I so diligently sent my resume far and wide was when I was fresh out of college. And at that point, I was just killing time until I heard from graduate schools. This time it�s for real. And, oh, God, I still must finish the diss.

I must say, I am feeling more of a sense of urgency about the project than I have in a long time. This can be nothing but good.

My parents were asking about graduation when I was down for Thanksgiving. �Will you be participating in the ceremony?� My response? �Hell, yes!� It�s been a long haul. I want to celebrate. Plus there�s the matter of the silly floppy velvet hats. I will be there with bells on and I�m throwing a party for my family who has put up with this whole crazy project.

I haven�t had time to reflect on what this all means for me and for my family. There are, no doubt, big changes ahead, whatever happens. And I�m more than a little worried about how AJ�s going to process it all. But for now, he�s still very much wrapped up in his own little world. He is a little under the weather today, no fever but tonsils the size of golf balls. Consequently he�s been surly, whiny, and full of complaints today. He is currently in banishment in his room, where I sent him after yet another attempt at entertaining him was met with whining and complaining. He has to decide he wants to snap out of it. Instead he has decided to wallow.

I want to wallow too, but in different things. In Christmas projects and cooking extravaganzas, in impromptu pots and pans bangathons and shoe tying lessons, in laundry and dusting. I want to wallow in the everyday domestic activities. I can see them slipping away from me a little and I�m not sure what that�s going to be like. This will remap our world, our marriage, our life. This is neither good nor bad. It is what is.

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