I�ve noticed recently that every time I look at a clock I do the mental calculation to figure out what time it is in Thailand, where my brother lives. It�s a strange tic. I think it�s partly because of AJ, because he often asks what time it is where his cousins live. Although he has a pretty complete understanding of why the times are different in different places and he can see on his globe that Thailand is almost exactly halfway around the globe from Illinois, understanding the pragmatic application of this knowledge, the way things really are, is still difficult. To make matters even more confusing, since Illinois went on daylight savings time, the time is the same, but AM and PM are reversed.

I've also been thinking about the music my brother sent (see yesterday's entry), how calm and mellow it is, how upbeat. My brother and I have exchanged our musical proclivities since we were teenagers. As teens, my brother preferred to listen to bands with an edge � Led Zepplin, The Who, Aerosmith. I tended to prefer calmer or jazzier bands.

Because of the way my families crazy moves aligned with our ages, I went to four high schools. My brother stayed in one house for jr. high and high school. My life as a teen was crazier than his and I liked calm music. His life now is crazier in the same kind of way (lots of moves and foreign travel), and he prefers calmer music than I. Interesting. Our music seems to compensate in some way for our lives.

* * * * *

This morning I took AJ ice skating. Other than a 10 minute venture on a choppy pond in ten-degree weather in December, it was AJ�s first time skating. We went with a couple of his friends to a rink that had a special hour for mom and tot skating. In an arena sized for youth hockey, there were only AJ and I, three of his friends and two moms plus one other mom and daughter that we didn�t know. It was absolutely perfect for a first time on ice. AJ was petrified. After getting some brief pointers on land from a rink instructor, I pretty much dragged AJ onto the ice, put his hands on the middle of the back of a chair, stood behind him with my hands outside his and started to move around the outside of the rink. At first AJ was so scared that he hunched his body into a question mark, burying his chin in his mittened hands on the chair back. But as we went around, he started to move his feet and pick up his head and look around. He saw his friend T, who has had two years of skating lessons, learning how to spin in the middle of the ice. He saw his friend D, who has skated 4 times before, taking his first solo run across the ice. falling dramatically, getting up and laughing. Pretty soon, AJ was having fun.

After half a lap, AJ took a rest in the penalty box while I took a couple of solo turns around the rink. Then we continued. When AJ got back to where he had begun, he was so proud of himself that he was grinning from ear to ear. As a reward for making it around, I let him climb into the chair and I took him on a victory lap around the rink, during which he laughed and laughed. He did two more laps around with the chair before it was time to go.

It�s so hard to get AJ to try new things. He is so hard on himself that he can�t stand not doing things perfectly, especially in front of others. Not only that, but even when he decides to do it, he gets very nervous about it � as we were pulling into the rink parking lot this morning, he was telling me how his stomach was �flip-flopping.� I�m still learning how much I can and need to push him to learn something new. Today we were, I think, successful. Yes, there were tears, but they were relatively short-lived. The instructor helped and I helped, but what helped him the most, I think, was watching his friend D. fall over and over again, watching him laugh and shake it off, watching him get up and try some more.

0 people said it like they meant it