I�ve been thinking about the collection of traits that make up AJ lately, in part because I�ve found myself having to do a thumbnail sketch of him more and more frequently in our efforts to find resources to give him a good school experience. I send out emails to people I�ve never met or met only briefly and have to a) describe AJ, b) describe my concerns and c) convince them that I�m not a freaked out, overbearing, slave-driving parent. This is not easy to do in a small space. Through practice, I seem to have arrived at a sort of marketing plan for AJ, where I sell him as a typical 5-year-old kid with a big brain that is dying to be used. I tend to do this through contrasting anecdotes, because they cut me out of the picture and because I find them telling of his personality � things like reading the Science Times section aloud but still loving picture books. But I find the process of essentializing AJ both distressing and frustrating. �If you could only meet him,� I long to say, �then you would know what I mean.� Because when you meet him, you can�t put him in a little box labeled �Gifted� or �Works Well with Others� or �Still Can�t Tie His Shoes.�

Did you know AJ is terrified of dogs? No one knows why, but even the smallest dog sends him into a near-catatonic state. He shrieks with fear and shakes like a leaf and will shimmy up the nearest adult body as if his life depends on it. Today, as we walked to school counting by tens (we stopped at 2,000 because we were tired), we arrived at the playground to find an escapee chihuahua tearing around the place in a state of over-excitement. �Freedom!�, you could almost hear the dog say, his ears flicking wildly in all directions. AJ took one look at this tiny animal careening around the swingset and started bawling. He was still sobbing when we arrived at the front door of his school, where his class lines up. He was finally calming down when the dog discovered all the children and came barreling up the steps, delighting most of the kids, distressing the teachers and sending AJ into further hysterics.

AJ is generally a cautious but not a particularly fearful child. He is not afraid of other animals, certainly not cats. Not rabbits or ferrets. Not even the enormous horses with their huge yellow teeth, although in fairness, they are fenced in. Something about dogs terrifies him the way nothing else does and there appears to be no reason for it, no past experience that might suggest to him that dogs are dangerous. With my penchant for creating metaphors in my own life, I can�t help but think dogs are some kind of a metaphor for AJ.

AJ is generally an exceptionally rational creature, especially for a five-year-old. But his fear of dogs is irrational in the extreme. . It doesn�t matter how small or quiet or asleep the dog is. All dogs result in terror. As a result, it�s hard to know how to help him. When he�s panicking, of course, all you can do is comfort him until he calms down. But no amount of assuring him that the dog is okay helps. It does not help if I pet the dog � sometimes it makes it worse, sometimes it makes no difference. It doesn�t help that all his friends like dogs. Sooner or later, I�m sure he�ll get over it. It doesn�t even always help to have the dog contained in some way, although it�s definitely worse when they�re on the loose. Telling him it�s okay not to like dogs doesn�t help either. He�ll just agree with you, because there really isn�t anything else he can do

Part of my difficulty in dealing with this aspect of AJ, though, has to do with the fact that I seem to need to put him in a box labeled �Afraid of Dogs.� And I don�t really want him to be there. I am not afraid of dogs. I grew up with dogs and I love them. I�d love to have one day. Part of me wants AJ to be in my box instead of letting him build a box of his own and accepting there will be things I do and don�t like about the box of his choice. I need to get over this, otherwise it will be a long road to teenagerdom.

AJ calmed down when someone arrived to pick up the yelping dog and carry it away. It�s owner was at work, she said, and she�d try to find a place to keep it until she got home. �I don�t know how she could have got out.� It was the dog�s turn now to shake. She was lucky. She wasn�t hit by a car and, with luck, she�s not headed to the pound. Meanwhile, AJ had stopped shaking and started talking to the boy in front of him. �Why are you scared of dogs?� the boy asked AJ. AJ just shrugged his shoulders. �I love dogs. I have a dog. I bet you�d like him.� AJ looked doubtful but volunteered, �I like baseball.� As they disappeared into the school, they were still talking about the Cubs and the White Sox and how fast they could run the bases.

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