spynotes ::
  December 19, 2006
Schadenfreude

AJj came home from school with a brochure explaining the anti-drug/anti-bullying curriculum that will, apparently, be incorporated into the vigorous kindergarten lesson plans after winter break. The program, called �Here�s Looking at You,� is designed, says the flyer,

to prevent children from using nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, and other drugs. How? The program is based on reducing children�s risky behaviors and promoting children�s healthy behaviors.

This is all commendable, I am sure, but the examples of things they do had me in hysterics. It�s designed for kindergarteners, but it sounds more like it�s a sequel to Avenue Q. I quote:

They listen to a puppet called Frog tell them about the time he resisted pressure from friends to try drugs. Frog is a hand puppet who not only introduces the lessons, but also is featured in videos and on work sheets and posters.

Is anyone else thinking of Mr. Hat?

But the best part is this:

Tippy is a Muppet�-like puppy with a problem: His father is an alcoholic. Luckily, he can talk with the school nurse, Mrs. Hoot, about his problem.

I don�t mean to belittle these problems, nor even to question their presence in a kindergarten curriculum. Unfortunately, I have to say the earlier the better. But Tippy? Tippy??? TIPPY???

The other thing that amuses me about the brochure is its tendency to trademark things that wouldn�t seem trademarkable. For example, Here�s Looking at You�. I would have thought the copyright on that goes back to Casablanca. Or The Asking Skill�, which is, as far as I can tell, the skill of remember to say please and thank you. We used to call that �manners. I think I�ll trademark the word Manners�. Maybe I could even use The Asking Skill� to accomplish the transaction (May I please trademark the word Manners�? No? How about Mannerz�? Sure, I�ll hold. Thank you!).

[Second entry today. Click back to play the alphabet meme!]

5 people said it like they meant it

 
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