Scene: Harriet�s kitchen table, at a party on New Year�s Day. AJ is eating dinner sitting next to his friend Z, whom he hasn�t seen since this summer. Z and AJ are both 5 and are both really interested in science. Neither of them has friends of their own age who share those interests, so when they get together, big thoughts are discussed.

Harriet: Z, what�s your favorite kind of science?

Z: Egyptology. I like the hieroglyphics.

AJ: I like space the best.

Z: I like space too. Did you know that the moon is not really made of cheese?

AJ: Yes. Did you know the moon is not really shiny? (whispers) It�s just the sun!)

Z: Yes. Do you think black holes are scary?

AJ: No. I want to go in one.

Z: Not me! They�re dangerous!

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This scientific round table was brought to you by the letters A and J and by the letter Z. I really wish AJ and Z could spend more time together. I�m sure we�d have global warming solved in a couple of years.

* * * * * *

Our friends J1 & J2 and their children Z and D arrived at our party late in the day. They were on their way back from a vacation in Wisconsin and stopped by on their way home. We haven�t seen them since June.

J1 and I have known each other since my first year of grad school, which was her senior year of college. We sang in choir together. Later she got a job at an arts organization in downtown Chicago and was instrumental in getting me hired there as well. We both found out we were pregnant around the same time. Our due dates were a couple of weeks apart. We had the same OB and all went to our prenatal classes together.

We are both having similar issues with schools and gifted education, although inevitably, I think we will approach things differently. Despite our substantial shared history, we live our lives somewhat differently. But we both love talking about it, in part because of our different approaches and in part because if you�ve got these issues, you�ll talk to anyone who won�t take it the wrong way. You can�t talk to most of your friends and neighbors; they�ll just think you�re bragging about your kid. Few understand that there are actual problems involved.

Both J1 and I have been concerned about Z and AJ�s tendency to refuse to challenge themselves at school in order to fit in. AJ won�t read with his teacher because he doesn�t want to be singled out. Z does the same thing with other types of projects. Clearly they are not afraid to talk to their peers about the things they love: when Z and AJ get together, it�s like a science symposium around here. The problem is that neither of them seems to have any real peers in their current school environments (both of us have been told by our respective schools that this is so). Neither J1 nor I wants to sell the social lessons of school short, but neither do we want to see our kids squelching their natural interests and talents. J1 is having more immediate problems, as her daughter is in all-day kindergarten. Her daughter is also in an expensive private school at which J1 also serves on the board of directors, so they�ve got a lot more invested in a positive outcome. I�m watching and listening, because I suspect we�ll be in for some of the same issues next year when AJ starts going all day. They are looking at schools for the gifted. I�m still hesitant on that front. I�m not sure why, exactly. Something about it sounds bad to me, like we�re telling AJ he�s better than other people. That�s not really the message I want to be putting across. Also, AJ is already academically inclined � he spent the morning studying fractions by himself, because that�s what he felt like doing today. I want to make sure he gets equal time for gym and art and music and play and all those other things that kids need. Public school might actually be better as a counterbalance to his interests.

AJ could not have been more excited to be heading back to school today. He practically sprinted the whole way there. He is bringing some new reading books (Christmas presents, both from the Magic Treehouse series, which strikes the right balance for AJ between story and facts), a thank-you note for his teacher, who gave him a book about the Solar System for Christmas, and an air traffic controller from his Playmobil airport. The last item is for show and tell. While we�re all a little sad to see the holidays end, we�re also all happy to be getting back in a groove. We are very orderly here in the Spy household. January is a good time to feel like a well-oiled machine.

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