AJ is is home sick today and it is my fault.

This morning, AJ had some big questions while he moved his breakfast around his plate.

�Mommy, how come some people get sick more than other people?�

�Well, that�s complicated. There are lots of reasons. Babies get sick a lot because their bodies haven�t learned how to fight diseases yet. Older people get sick because their bodies are getting tired of fighting.�

�But what about regular people who get sick and don�t get better?�

�Well, it depends on the person and on the disease. Most people�s bodies fight the disease, sometimes with medicine, and they get better. But some kinds of diseases are hard to fight.�

Then ensued a long discussion about auto-immune diseases, which AJ found fascinating, but which did not aid in the consumption of his breakfast.

�But what about N.�s dad? Why didn�t he get better?�

AJ�s friend N�s father died of a brain tumor in September. He was in his thirties.

�That�s a different kind of disease called cancer. Cancer is when the cells of your body grow in ways that they shouldn�t. We don�t really know why it happens and in some cases, like N�s dad�s kind of cancer, we don�t know how to fix it. But scientists are working all the time trying to find out ways to help people like N�s dad.�

AJ looked thoughtful.

�Maybe you�ll grow up to be a scientist and will figure out a way to help people who are sick.�

�We should call Dr. B. and make an appointment. We haven�t seen her in a long time.�

�That�s because you haven�t been sick since your last visit. If you don�t get sick, we only go once a year when it�s time for your check-up.�

I knocked on our butcherblock counter as I said this.

�Why did you knock, Mommy?�

�It�s a superstition. When you say something that you want to stay true, you knock on wood.�

So, as you can see, it was my mention of AJ�s unusually good health that led to his present illness.

AJ was supposed to play his second basketball game of the season yesterday afternoon. He had been looking forward to it all day, hoping to redeem Saturday�s loss. But clearly AJ wasn�t feeling his best. He had been excited to help me take the ornaments off the Christmas tree, but instead of helping, he ended up lying on the sofa with a pillow over his face while I worked. I finally sent him up to bed for a rest until it was time for basketball.

AJ didn�t want to give up his game. He was having trouble pulling on his shoes over his extra-thick basketball socks. He asked me for help. As I came over, I could feel the top of his head radiating heat. He�d been sleepy and low-energy all day, so I told him I took his temperature. When he saw it, he burst into tears. �I want to go to basketball! They�ll lose if I�m not there!� But there was no question that he was staying home: the thermometer read 102.9.

I gave AJ some Tylenol and tucked him under an afghan on my bed to watch Spongebob. I could tell he was feeling awful, because he didn�t laugh once.

Later, I went out to pick up some medicine for AJ at the drugstore and some new books for him to read from the library. On the way home, I stopped by the prairie preserve for a quick walk. It was nearly four and the sun was starting to go down. I was the only one there on two legs. Herds of deer were grazing in the reddish grass, only their ears visible above the stalks. I took the path through the woods and as it turned and came out again, I saw two babies grazing near the path. Their mother was a little way off in the trees. The fawns looked at me. One of them was especially curious and started walking toward me. I could see the patch of white across the bridge of its nose and the velvety fur on its nostrils. It got within three or four feet of me before its mother stamped her foot, causing the fawns to freeze, statue-like, until I walked on.

Back home, AJ was feeling much better and was playing Pac-Man while Mr. Spy removed the last traces of Christmas from the house.

Today AJ is feeling poorly again. His temperature was back to 102 this morning and the threw up what little breakfast he could choke down. He is, however, feeling a little better now and is cheered by the idea of spending the entire day in his favorite glow-in-the-dark skeleton pajamas. It's almost making up for missing show-and-tell at school today.

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