Scene: Harriet�s car. AJ and Harriet are driving to the teacher supply store to stock up on some items for AJ�s science fair project.

AJ: (singing along with the Barenaked Ladies on Smed�s "Money Mix" CD) "If I had a million dollars. I�d buy you a house."

Harriet: You really like that song, don�t you?

AJ: Yes. And also I like dollars. Do things keep getting less expensive?

Harriet: What do you mean?

AJ: In the song. First they say they�ll by a house. That�s very expensive. But then they say they�ll buy a fur coat. That�s not very much money.

Harriet: Well, actually, some fur coats are very expensive.

AJ: But not this one. They say it�s not real because that�s cruel.

Harriet: (puzzled by how AJ has come by his knowledge of fur coats, both real and ersatz). I don�t know, AJ. But it might be true. Right now they�re singing about ketchup and that�s not very much money at all.

AJ: Yeah. I mean, I�m having ketchup for lunch on my hot dog.

Harriet: Maybe you�re rich.

AJ: Maybe I am. I�m rich in ketchup.

* * * * *

I have spent the week worrying about money, worrying about how much my computer will cost, how much the television will cost, how much my impending trip to Pittsburgh will cost, how much our much-needed vacation will cost, and wondering why the hell of all possible months for Mr. Spy�s place of employment to lose his invoice, they picked this one. I hate worrying about dollars. I�d rather think about how I�m rich in ketchup. Because let me tell you, we are stocked with ketchup. If ketchup were dollars, we�d be the richest folks in town.

AJ and I spent a good morning at the teacher supply store where most things do not cost very many dollars because, as everyone knows, elementary teachers do not generally have a lot of dollars to spend. We found the large trifold display board we needed for AJ�s science fair project and some stick on letters for it. We also found him some multiplication flash cards, since he had so much fun with the set we borrowed at the library last week. Best of all, though, we found a ten-foot long mural of the solar system for his wall -- for only five dollars. We are rich in planets as well. It came with separate labels for assorted heavenly bodies, which AJ got to identify and place. He is very excited about it and I have to say that it looks really awesome in his room.

Harriet: Wow, you have a lot of planets in here.

AJ: (sighing with satisfaction while admiring his new mural) Mommy, you can never have too m any planets.

* * * * *

On the way home, AJ requested a new CD (we�ve listened to the Money Mix several times in the past couple of days). I pulled out the double album of Smed's holiday mix and stuck one of the disks in the CD player.

Radio: "It's Christmastime...

AJ: This is a Christmas song.

Harriet: True.

AJ: We can't listen to a Christmas song. Do they have any Groundhog Songs?

Harriet: I don't think so. Let's try a different CD. (Harriet pops out that disk and puts in another one.

Radio: Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!

Harriet: (pressing buttons), Um, I think we�d better skip that one.

AJ: Aw, I like that song.

Harriet: So do I, but it�s not good for kids.

AJ: Why not?

Harriet: There�s too much cursing. (presses some buttons until we hear the beginning of Michael Jackson�s "Don�t Stop �Til You Get Enough.") That�s better. Remember the ABC song on that CD I made you?

AJ: Yes.

Harriet: This is the little boy who sings that when he�s all grown up.

AJ: (He�s in the back seat, but I can hear his eyebrows raising). But it sounds like a girl.

Harriet: Yeah, I kind of agree with you. But he�s a boy. (The next track comes on and I recognize it as Zappa, who�s not exactly known for his kid-friendly language: Exhibit A: "Dinah Moe Humm." Harriet skips ahead).

Radio: Blah, blah, blah MOTHERFUCKER.

Harriet: (ejecting CD). Okay, that�s enough of that one. Let�s listen to the radio.

AJ: Do they have "Bad to the Bone?"

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