[This is the last week I'll be crossposting. Please bookmark my new address: spynotes.wordpress.com.]

AJ's friend B, the one who couldn't come over "right now" yesterday because he was on the school bus, is here now. AJ and B ran outside to play with The Girl Next Door. I smell trouble. Nothing good happens in threes, at least not when you're six.

But actually, the problem is me. Here's what happened.

I asked AJ and B to stay outside or in our yard or in our house but not to go inside TGND's house. Her mom was trying to work. I should have just had them stay here, but It seemed unfair for AJ and B to be playing nicely together and leaving TGND out. The three played quite nicely. I worked in the side yard so I could keep an eye on them without cramping their style. All of a sudden they were gone. I was convinced they had gone into TGND's house, which I had specifically asked them not to do. This happened a couple of days ago, so I was feeling grumpy about it. I went over to TGND's and rang the bell. TGND came to the door, twirling in a gingham dress. "Can you tell AJ and B to come home now, please?" I asked curtly, because I was sure it was her fault that they had disobeyed me. "They're not here. They're at your house."

"Oh. Sorry."

That was dumb. I couldn't see how they could possibly have gotten past me -- I still can't figure it out -- but then there they were in the kitchen wondering where I was and whether I could get them a snack. But moreover, it was not TGND's problem. It was mine. Clearly I am a lousy parent.

Then everything was fine. Although for some reason, I was bothered when it was discovered that TGND had a playdate with AJ's friend M and was joined by The Boy Across the Street. AJ yelled a cheerful hello from his window and asked them to come over and join them. "Uh, we can't come over now," yelled back TGND. Two minutes later, she and M ran to The Boy Across the Street's house. It isn't that she couldn't come over. It's that she didn't want to share M. with AJ.

I was livid on AJ's behalf. M. is jealous that AJ is playing with someone else, and she intentionally shuts him out. She's gotten so bad that poor M., who likes both of them, refuses to play with more than one of them at a time. AJ, however, is not bothered at all. He goes back to crashing Matchbox cars with B. and giggling. I go back to the kitchen and start the water for the chicken I am poaching for dinner.

AJ comes back down as I'm slicing carrots into the pot. "Hey, Mommy! My secret club for little kids is at 11:11 and for big kids is at 5:05." There has been a lot of talk of secret clubs lately. It began at recess one day a week or two ago when the girls in AJ's class started a no boys allowed club. The boys responded in kind. At the moment, the purpose of the clubs seems to be to play a game of attack, where each club tries to be the first to kidnap a member of the other club. But at home, AJ and TGND and her brother and TBATS and his sister have been talking about secret clubs too. Today was the day AJ wanted to start his secret club. "And isn't it lucky that my new best friend is here at 11:11? You and Daddy and B can be in my club. And it's going to be a secret."

He didn't wait for a response before spinning on his heels and heading back to his room where he and B played car crash until B's mother pulled into the driveway to take him home.

I am fully aware that my feelings about AJ's relationship with TGND and M are irrational. I hate that kind of drama in my own life. I can't stand to see it in AJ's. AJ, however, takes a much more practical approach, an approach that I myself should take. If your friends blow you off and shut you out, they're not really friends. Better find another. AJ does not hold the behavior against TGND. He still wants to share everything with her -- his friends, his stuffed animals, his toys. But he's also sticking up for himself, and I'm proud of him for that.

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