SCENE: AJ�s bedroom, at bedtime. Harriet is tucking AJ in.

AJ: Mommy, tell me a joke.

Harriet: I don�t know too many jokes. Let me think. [Wracks brain trying to come up with a joke suitable for a child of five] Why did the little boy throw the clock out the window?

AJ: I don�t know. Why?

Harriet: Because he wanted to see time fly.

AJ: That was funny, Mommy. Now I�m going to tell you a joke.

[There is an incredibly long pause, during which I twice check to see if AJ has accidentally fallen asleep]

AJ: Okay, I�ve got one. Why did the little boy throw the clock out the window?

Harriet: But that�s the one that I just told you!

AJ: No, it�s got a different ending. Just do it, Mommy.

Harriet. Okay. Why did the little boy throw the clock out the window?

AJ: Because he wanted to see the clock break.

* * * * *

AJ came running into our room to say �Happy April Fool�s Day!� this morning. And he has been desperate to fool somebody about something ever since. Breakfast this morning went something like this:

Harriet: Okay, AJ. It�s time to eat your cereal.

AJ: [picking up 7 Cheerios with his fingers (he prefers his cereal sans milk)] Mommy! Look, my Cheerios are stuck together!

Harriet: They are?

AJ: Hahaha! I April fooled you! [Puts Cheerios in mouth]. And Mommy, look!

Harriet: What is it, AJ?

AJ: My strawberries are stuck together?

Harriet: [trying not to sound as if she is consumed with ennui] They are?

AJ: Hahaha! No they�re not. I April fooled you again!

[Continue this line of conversation until each and every bite of food has been consumed. Stop just short of Harriet banging her forehead repeatedly on the kitchen counter.]

* * * * *

I have not been telling any jokes today. Most days are better when I don�t try, as my jokes tend to border on the surreal and I frequently forget the punch lines. Instead I�ve been cleaning and filing and watching AJ play golf in the yard and reading about Grups and wondering why we feel the need to catalog our behavior in this particular way.

For those who don�t feel like clicking over (and it�s not really worth it), Grups are the word du jour for hipster parents of my generation (that would be the generation formerly known as X) who resist growing up, as indicated by their decision to work at home, to wear new jeans that look old and to listen to the same music their kids like.

We needed a word for that? Moreover, we needed a word drawn from a Star Trek episode for that?

Actually, what I found interesting about the article was the issue of the disappearing musical generation gap. That really does seem to be happening, and I�m curious about it.

Music has long been used by teens explicitly to separate themselves from their parents. That�s not really happening anymore. The article suggests that the reason for this is that parents don�t want to grow up and are therefore listening to the same music that kids are listening to. But it also points out that there�s a sort of generational harmonic convergence in that today�s music is remarkably similar in many respects to music of the early eighties when the so-called Grups were kids.

I have a hard time believing that this is entirely controlled by the parental generation. If the kids of hipster parents wanted to draw a line in the sand, they�d play Kelly Clarkson songs. Why, then, doesn�t the child generation feel the need for establishing a separate culture? We�ve also been reading a lot of stories about how more children than ever are refusing to leave home at adulthood or are moving back in after college. Is this lack of a generation gap causing problems as well?

I often wonder what AJ will choose to listen to when he gets to be making all the decisions. Right now he likes Chaikovsky and Bach and Miles Davis and Benny Goodman and Dan Zanes and anything he considers �dancy music,� which might mean a cloying Gymboree version of Skip to My Lou or James Brown singing �I Feel Good.� When he was a baby, his favorite song in the whole world was REM�s �All the Way to Reno.� Whenever we�d play it, he�d stop crawling around the floor and start doing what we affectionately called �the butt dance� � a sort of rhythmic rocking back and forth on all fours, accompanied by a huge toothless, drool-covered grin. He still likes REM, but prefers his music a little more upbeat � �End of the World� is a favorite. I guess it�s better for dancing once you can stand on two feet.

But when he�s 13 or 15 or 19, will he still listen to things we like? Will we still like things he listens to? And if we don�t, whose fault is that? Or will our very difference of opinion be the point?

I was raised with the Time Life Classics, Jimmy Cliff, Peter Paul & Mary, Pete Seeger, Joan Baez and the pre-White Album Beatles. These are the records I used to thumb through on my parents� shelf and these are the things I remember best. I still like them all. As teens, my brother and I began establishing our own music culture of two. We shared our cassettes, but mostly I listened to his, preferring to save my money for books. We listened to The Who, The Police and The Cars most often. We never bothered to find out whether my parents liked them or not. That wasn�t the point. It was our secret musical club. We never listened to these things on the family stereo. I don�t think it ever occurred to either of us to do so. Instead we played our cassettes on one a boom box in one of our rooms.

Now that we talk about music more, I know that my parents never were big fans of most rock recorded past the early 1960s, when they graduated from college. They�re still more likely to listen to folk or jazz or classical. But since college, I picked up the slack. Like many of my friends, in college I started listening to music from a little before my time. I became enamored with 1960s rock -- the Doors, the Stones, the late Beatles � and also with highly orchestrated, often jazz influenced 70s bands like Chicago and Steely Dan. These things got mixed in with the New Wave bands I liked. And then there was pretty much anything out of Athens, GA. And starting with Paul Simon�s Graceland, I started listening to all kinds of music from around the world. I still do.

I listen much more broadly than my parents did or do, so it is much easier for me to be listening to the things my students do than it would have been for them to do the same. But I also think part of my desire to listen widely is to refuse to draw lines around my musical world. I want to be a part of the prevailing culture. I want to know what is going on and understand it. It�s not that I don�t want to grow up � I am grown up. But I don�t want to be shunted aside, to be replaced by youth. I don�t go clubbing the way I used to when I was young � that would make me feel old and pathetic. But I still miss dancing and I see no need to ossify my listening repertoire. I want to share my musical curiosity with AJ, but he needs to find his own way. And whatever that way is, I�ll have to live with it. But please don�t make it be Kelly Clarkson.

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