I got a proposal acceptance yesterday and my first thought was, "Oh, shit." There are three major conferences I like to participate in and try to get at least one paper on one of those each year. Last year I got lucky and got accepted by two of them; I didn't submit to the third, as I'd presented in the previous year and they don�t allow you to present two years in a row. This year I didn't apply to the first, as it's in Hawaii and much as I'd like to go, I really can't afford it without an institutional affiliation and an expense account. Plus I'm not sure I want my first trip to Hawaii to involve my usual presentation nervousness. The third conference rejected my proposal which was, I admit, written entirely in the 20 minutes prior to the close of deadline. And while it wasn't half bad for a 20 minute proposal, it was still a 20 minute proposal. And while I never like rejection, I was neither surprised nor particularly unhappy, except for the fact that it would have been a good place to present in a job search year.

So anyway, conference number 2 has a later deadline than the others and I got to spend a little more time on it -- like an hour. But I still just pulled it out of my ass, as it were. And I got accepted. I know I should be happy about this. It means I won't be presentationless in a job search year. And I avoided yet another rejection. But the lazy part of me is bummed because now I need to write the damn thing. This topic is wide open and I did no research to write it (although it's drawn from diss research -- I'm not totally stupid). In other words, it will be a lot of work to write this one. I suppose that's what they pay me the big bucks for. Oh, wait. I'm not getting paid. Must remedy that situation. Moreover, this is the conference to which I was invited to be part of a panel. If the panel is accepted too (I haven't heard on that one yet), then I'll be doing double duty -- 2 presentations in 1 three day conference. I know that's not unusual, but it's new to me. And actually is a bit unusual for someone who's not employed and established.

Maybe this will be the kick in the ass I need to shake off writers block. Then again, maybe I'll sink into another black hole of self-pity. It's so much fun to be me. Perhaps I should start teaching courses in professional angst. I'm starting to raise it to an art form.

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