spynotes ::
  August 15, 2006
Mailbag

Dear WXRT,

Please stop playing "Dani California" every 20 minutes. Once a day is more than enough. It makes me want to beat my head against the wall repeatedly, and not in a headbangery, rockin' out kind of way.

Yo,

Harriet

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Dear Chicago White Sox,

Thanks for winning big last night. We�re looking forward to cheering you on tonight. My son AJ, age 5, picked out his wardrobe for tonight's game (his beloved Scottie Pods T-Shirt and, of course, a pair of white socks) last week. They're a little dusty from sitting on top of his dresser for so long, but they're still good. See you tonight!

Mother of your biggest fan,

Harriet

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Dear Chipmunk,

I may not be as fast as you are, but I am bigger, stronger and smarter than you. You will not get any more of my tomatoes, so you may as well not even try. And if you do, there's a big burly cat here who wants a piece of the action (you don't have to know that she's toothless and clawless. She still sounds mean). So BACK OFF!

Cordially yours,

Harriet

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Dear Cold in my head,

This is really not a good time for a summer cold. AJ will be very disappointed if I don't make it to the ball game tonight. So do you think you could arrange vacating the premises as soon as possible? I'd be most grateful.

Peace out,

Harriet

6 people said it like they meant it

 
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