AJ and I both cried a little when we found the thin slivers of blue eggshells scattered across the lawn between the crabapples that line the drive. We hadn't even known there'd been a nest. But the robins were circling the area, taking pass after pass, looking for their lost eggs. They called back and forth to each other as AJ and I pawed through the grass looking for more pieces, maybe hoping to find enough to piece an egg back together, even though we both knew it wasn't possible. This is the saddest part of spring. It happens all the time. At least the eggs hadn't hatched like last year's trauma. That was even harder to take. We mourned that loss for a long time. At least I did.

Maybe it's the eggshells that put me in a melancholy mood or maybe it's the flat grey clouds that have moved in on an otherwise glorious week. I'm feeling flat and grey and angry at everyone and nothing in particular today and I'm trying very hard not to take it out on AJ. I'm mad at the drivers who can't seem to go the speed limit and I'm mad at the ones who go too fast. I'm mad at AJ's school for not having classes today so I can work without worrying about Mr. Spy's time. I'm made mad at the fifty or more teens who, when released for a half day, decided that the thing to do was to skateboard in a mob in the parking lot of the J3wel. I'm especially mad at the idiot kid who tore across the access road on his board, causing me to slam on the brakes hard enough to give myself a headache. I'm mad that the eggshells and the rain clouds have taken away my garden for the afternoon, the one place where I can generally lose my irrational anger in short order. Instead I must try to lose myself in work, which is less reliable, but probably more useful.

I just got an email message from AJ, who is spending a couple of hours with his dad this afternoon. The message reads,

Dear Mommy,

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! loveAJ

I'm feeling better already.

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