Not enough coffee in the world can help me today. AJ�s been running me ragged the last couple of days � that�s why didn�t manage to get a second post in yesterday. He�s been refusing to take a nap, which he desperately needs and throwing tantrums at every opportunity.

When AJ gets this tired, his emotions all seem to be scaled wrong. For instance, when he got whacked in the face with a hard plastic ball this morning, leaving a dark red mark below one eye, he didn�t even flinch. He just dusted himself off and went back to what he was doing. But when I tried to get him to get out of his chair after lunch, which he didn�t eat and complained about bitterly, in order to play with some of his favorite toys, he started yelling as if I were torturing him.

His frustration seems to stem from a new determination to be his own person. �By myself� is heard frequently around here. And looking at it from his point of view, I�m probably pretty aggravating to be around.

I had to drag him on a multiple stop shopping trip this morning, which is challenging on the best of days. One of the stops was one of my least favorite places to shop, Bed, Bath and Beyond. Because I can�t stand this store, I was aiming for a quick in and out, in search of a solution to our current lack of table space to get us through Thanksgiving with all the inlaws. AJ, however, spotted a Spongebob Squarepants table and chairs just his size in the middle of the section I was looking in. He sat right down and demanded snacks. I�m sure it seemed to him as if that was the obvious purpose for such a table. But I was ready to go and he wasn�t interested in leaving, so I picked him up and started walking out. He started yelling, which I must admit is a perfectly reasonable response. But at the time, I was just as frustrated as he was.

I hate it when I lose my patience with him. I wasn�t yelling or angry with him, but I just ran roughshod over his sense autonomy, which is fragile at the moment. On the other hand, he wasn�t behaving particularly well before that happened, nor was he in a frame of mind to take direction. I didn�t know what else to do.

We were both exhausted when we finally got home.

Beyond this, my work has not been going well and I�ve been feeling guilty for writing here because I�m not getting enough writing done on my diss. I actually think that I am going to give myself a reprieve from writing today and will try to tackle some reading. Maybe a change of tack will do me good.

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