Here are a couple of things that make me proud to be an American.

� English-to-Groundhog translator. In case you are interested, here are a few key phrases:

Harriet the Spy � ooah chitter chitter
Punxutawney Phil is wildly inaccurate -- Hehaa Chitter ooat ooat ooat.
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? -- sheeah urp, ooat hehaa chitter ooat Hehaa Hehaa?

Uncertain about the appropriate pronunciation for Groundhogese? There�s an audio link at the site. Although I must admit, the audio for all three of the phrases printed above sound suspiciously similar. But then, perhaps my ear is simply not yet attuned to the calibrated nuances of timbre required for true Groundhogese comprehension.

� The Animal Planet�s �Puppy Bowl� � 3 hours of puppies of assorted breeds playing on a fake football field, complete with pretend flashbulbs in the cardboard stands. Special camera angles include the water dish cam, which shoots up through a clear-bottomed water dish in the end zone. Instead of screaming and yelling of the real game, you hear soft music and yippy puppy noises. God, I love cable.

AJ was up half the night with an ear infection, and consequently so was I. Despite the lack of sleep, he is pain free and remarkably energetic this morning. He has been chattering non-stop since about 5:30:

Mommy-my-ear-doesn�t-hurt-anymore-
can-I-go-to-school?-Nathan-will-miss-me-
if-I-stay-home-but-I-still-want-to-go-to
-the-doctor�s-because-I-want-to-play-with-the
-toys-there�s-that-board-that-looks-like-a-map-
did-you-know-north-is-up-and-south-is-down-and-east
-is-right-and-west-is-left? [multiply by at least 100 and you�ll get the idea]

Strangely, even I seem to have gained something from the lack of sleep. My head hs finally cleared and my cough has been reduced to a dull, infrequent rattle. Perhaps the end is in sight.

0 people said it like they meant it