spynotes ::
  January 29, 2004
Nitpicking

First, let�s get the obvious out of the way. It�s cold. Very cold. It was �5 when I got up this morning, which granted was on the early side (5 a.m.) due to some egregious behaviour on the part of one of our resident felines. It�s still in the single digits out there, and yet it is snowing. Again. I love snow, really I do, but generally speaking, when it gets cold enough to consider the possibility that Hell is actually freezing over, it is at least sunny and pleasant. What fun is snow when it�s too cold to go out and enjoy it?

Of course, temperaturewise, this is really nothing. When I was in high school in Indiana, we had nearly a week of weather in the �20 range. Not including wind chill. They actually closed the schools because it was too cold for anyone to wait for the bus and the chances of anyone�s car starting was about 50/50 at best. For those who have never experienced such bone-chilling cold, here is what it feels like. Your contact lenses ice over on your eyeballs. Your hair freezes stiff if there is the least bit of moisture. When you inhale, you feel like someone has socked you in the chest with a sledgehammer and you are certain your lungs are freezing solid from the inside out.

Despite the weather, though, AJ did go to school this morning. When I arrived, a bunch of concerned looking parents were huddled in a corner talking in hushed tones. Interesting, I thought, given the fact that these parents are usually standing in the hallway discussing breasts, bowel movements and their marriages at full voice. When I got to our classroom, I saw why. Taped to AJ�s cubby was the following note:

Dear Parent,

Please be advised that our school has had 1 reported case of head lice. We do not anticipate this being an issue in our classroom, however we do suggest laundering your child�s coat, hat and gloves/mittens in very hot water as a precautionary measure. If you would like further information on head lice, we have a fact sheet available in each classroom. Thank you,

Head lice? Ick. AJ�s teachers were saying things like, �There�s no need to panic. We�re not allowed to say anything else.� Which implies to me that the case in question was probably in another classroom. But still, I think I�ll be boiling everything I can this afternoon.

For those interested in knowing more about headlice, you can check out this site. Everything you never wanted to know. Plus you can purchase t-shirts with slogans like �You ought to have your head examined� and �Not just another lousy t-shirt.� Ah, there ain�t nothing funnier than a good louse joke. This site is more informative, but I find myself profoundly disturbed by the term �Laboratory of Public Health Entomology.�

I�m feeling all creepy-crawly now. I think I�ll go take another shower.

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