Our neighbor�s son was arrested for DUI, possession of a controlled substance and trafficking. I know this, because it showed up in the police blotter of our local weekly, alongside the local real estate transactions, garage sale notices, and the junior high school honor roll.

I guess this is the kind of thing you have to report when there is nothing to report. Weeks go buy when the police blotter has �nothing to report.� Most of the things that show up there are incidents like kids breaking curfew (there�s a curfew?), loud parties, minor vandalism at the high school, the occasional DUI or domestic �situation.�

Then again, weeks go by where I have nothing to report and I keep writing anyway. What�s a girl to do?

In local news, the students at the preschool hung up their President�s Day projects today. The three-year-old class showed a wide array of collage techniques in their humorous renditions of George Washington, using paper plates (face), construction paper (hat, eyes), cotton balls (wig) and doilies (cravat). The junior kindergarten class had to fill in an ending for a sentence that began, �If I were president, I would�� Among the stellar contributions:

�let everyone eat candy whenever they want.

�let all the girls go to the daddy-daughter dance.

�make everyone take a vacation.

�destroy all the bad guys with my karate moves.

Who says there is no hope for our future?

In other news, I am getting near daily google hits from people who are desperate to know Jennifer Beals� middle name. Thank you, Showtime, for increasing traffic to my site. Unfortunately, you people will not find the answer here. If you do figure it out, please let me know. We could save a lot of people some time and trouble.

0 people said it like they meant it