Oy vey. The schedule today has changed about nine thousand times. I�m now at my desk, but AJ is making noises like a tranquilized elephant in his sleep, which is mildly alarming and probably means his nap will either be longer or shorter than usual, but it is impossible to tell which.

I feel like I�ve been beginning every entry lately by talking about the weather, but it�s been kind of hard to ignore. Those of you who live in more temperate climes may not appreciate what the first warm days of spring do to you after months of shoveling your driveway under cloudy skies. But rest assured that it�s up there with great sex, a bottle of primo bourbon and a pint of double-chocolate Haagen Dazs. Today�s orgy of weathertasticness is slightly cheapened by gale-force winds that require me to hold AJ�s hand extra tightly, lest he take off into the air like a kite. Nevertheless, we managed to run our errands this morning relatively unscathed, although my hair was verging on Bride-of-Frankenstein by the time I got home. Definitely time for a trip to the stylist.

AJ aided and abetted a toddler breakout this morning at play class. His little friend D. was tired of waiting for her mom to chat with everyone in the place and she decided to take matters into her own hands and get out the door. The door is extremely heavy, so no one was too concerned about D. until AJ noticed her struggling. He went over to help her push and together they made an escape. As mothers sprinted across the room in horror, AJ stood in the doorway and waved goodbye to D. as she started to sprint across the street to the parking lot. A horrified shriek from her mother stopped her just in the nick of time.

After AJ�s brush with criminality, I subjected him to a trip to Sears for some new pint-sized Levis, as he has been growing like a weed. He wanted to wear them as soon as we got to the parking lot, so I pulled off all the tags and put them on. Unfortunately, he seems to be between sizes. While his old jeans are definitely headed into the floodwater range, the new ones are more along the lines of Snoop Dogg fashion. We came out of the library, the third stop on our morning outing and AJ started jogging to the car. By the time he got there his pants were well past plumber butt and verging on porn star, except for the fact that his Buzz Lightyear pull-ups were covering most of the important areas.

AJ seems to be taking elocution lessons from S.D. as well. Lately he�s been creating his own personal language by starting all words with �schn.� �Schni schnove schnou!� he proclaimed as he crawled into bed for his nap. I think he came up with this game by himself, but it�s possible he�s been visiting this website

The shizzlator himself has just appeared at my side. Apparently it�s the short nap today.

0 people said it like they meant it