AJ seems to be taking lessons from the George W. Bush school of diplomacy. Although clearly good manners are not high on the priority list of any toddler, his recent penchant for barking out orders really has been getting on my nerves. I will be the first to admit that I have not been handling the situation in the most adult manner. Something about his mode of discourse seems to bring out the �I won�t and you can�t make me!� side of my personality. You know, the part of me that is still three years old. But in fairness, I�ve tried just about everything. I�ve tried correcting him. I�ve tried ignoring him until he says it properly (something I truly hated as a child and I never use except in pure desperation). I�ve tried relaxing on diplomacy skills 101 and just letting it go (which really does seem to encourage him to be worse and definitely makes me insane).

Scene: Harriet�s breakfast table. AJ is pushing his uneaten breakfast around his plate. Harriet is drinking her first cup of coffee of the day and leafing haphazardly through the morning paper.

AJ: I want some orange juice.

Harriet: Me too. What do you think we should do about it?

AJ: You get me orange juice.

Harriet: That wasn�t exactly the invitation I was looking for. No, thanks. I think I�ll pass.

AJ: (crossing arms across chest and putting on his best �What choo talkin� �bout, Willis� face) I. Want. Orange. Juice.

Harriet: That�s nice.

AJ: (finally catching on). May I have some orange juice? (To his credit, he is painfully correct about his mays and shalls. I�m not sure where he gets it. Certainly not from me)

Harriet: Better, but not quite.

AJ: Please may I have some orange juice?

Harriet: That�s more like it. Why, it would be my privilege to get you orange juice. But next time, you need to ask that way on the first try, okay?

AJ: Okay. (infinitesimal pause). I want it in a big boy cup. I want some orange juice now!

Harriet growls at the extreme effort required to prevent herself from hurling the pitcher of juice at AJ�s head. She slams the cup of orange juice on the table and stomps out. AJ sniffs at the orange juice cup suspiciously then takes a sip and spits it out.

AJ: (yelling after Harriet), I don�t like this orange juice! I want some other orange juice!

Part of me wonders if he is intentionally trying to drive me insane. Another part of me knows it.

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