I tried to run some mail out to the mailbox this morning, but I had to wait. You see, our mailbox is across the street from our house and there was a horse standing in front of it. A very angry horse. A crowd of tall, skinny, brown-haired girls in riding pants were trying to coax the horse back towards them. The horse�s eyes were rolling and he was stomping his feet and doing the closest horse imitation of a growl I�ve ever heard. When he saw me walking up the driveway, he snorted, reared up on his hind legs and let out a long high whinny. He was a beautiful creature, but as I didn�t wish to encourage him to gallop my way, I decided I could mail the letters later. These kinds of things never happened when I lived in the Loop.

I received my first ever surprise Mother�s day gift from AJ courtesy of his preschool. The kids painted a small flower pot and saucer and filled it with some sweet-smelling allysum. I�m not sure if the allysum is long for this world, given AJ�s penchant for petting it and my poor track record with houseplants. I�m pretty competent in the garden, but I have an inability to remember to water anything that grows indoors. But I�m sure the pot will be saved carefully along with what is sure to be many years of crooked bowls and birdhouses to come.

I never really feel like I�m supposed to be an honored guest at Mothers� Day. After all, I�ve been trying to show my appreciation for my mom and grandma for over three decades. I�ve only been on the receiving end for three years.

Besides, there�s nothing like being with a collection of other mothers to make me feel completely out of my element. For instance, last Thursday after school, AJ and I went to the playground where we met up with AJ�s former playgroup, the one he used to attend before he started school . I always feel so girlish and awkward around those women. They stand around talking about parenting while their kids run and play. I�m always more comfortable talking to the kids. I hold a baby, push a bunch of kids on the swings, anything to avoid the inevitable inadequacies I always feel when in a crowd of other mothers. I don�t feel like an expert. How is it that all these women are so confident about the way they do it? Or do they feel the same way I do and just hide it better?

In any case, to those who do it well, and those who try, a very happy Mothers� Day. And a special happy Mother�s Day to eggsaucted, who�s celebrating her first. We�ll all be heading to my mother-in-law�s to consume far to much food that she will probably spend all day cooking and will refuse to eat herself. We tried to get her to come out to our place so she could relax, but this is how she wanted to spend her Mothers� Day � being a mother.

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