I am completely spent after a day of doing very little. Boredom is, apparently, exhausting.

We got up early to head to the parade, despite the weather, which was alternately sunny and raining. Despite our determined searches, no rainbows were to be seen, but the clouds did back off long enough for us to see our nieces playing in their band and the shriners driving around in their little magic carpet cars. AJ was extremely excited to go to the parade, but was a bit put off by the crowds and the general noise level. He did, however, come around when people marching began showering him with candy. He came home with a bigger bag of sugar than he did on Halloween. I think the new nanny will be earning her keep tomorrow.

The most random parade marcher award went to some man dressed all in fuzzy white with white makeup on his face and ghoulishly outlined eyes. On top of the ensemble, he was wearing a large chintz apron with cherries on it. People kept shouting at him, �What are you supposed to be?� Or, as the guy next to me � the one in the Cubs hat drinking beer at 10 a.m. � put it, with utter disdain dripping from his voice, �What are you, some kind of snowflake? To which the fuzzy marcher bellowed in reply, "I'm a YETI! A YETI!, you know, the ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN?" Calm down, furball. We were just wondering about the apron.

After the last band passed by, we repaired to my mother-in-law�s for a day of sitting around. She�s having both of her knees replaced in a couple of weeks and she�s currently not feeling very well, and also the weather was deplorable so we stayed in. We took one of our highway-avoidance routes on the return trip and got to see the wreckage of the flooded Des Plaines River � whole neighborhoods with their first floors underwater, despite mountains of sandbags. I�ve never seen anything like it. It made me feel very lucky.

And K. starts tomorrow. I hope we�re prepared. I�ve been trying to make lists of things I need to show to her. I am trying very hard not to be weirded out by the idea of someone else being in my house and taking care of my kid. I�m going to have to be a lot more organized than I am when it�s just me. AJ�s been making his own preparations, mostly by making pretend phone calls to K. on his toy phone. While we�ve been concerned about AJ feeling like we�re blowing him off by being home but not playing with him, so far, at least, this is the last thing on his mind. He is a very social creature and is always anxious to have more people around to entertain him. Meanwhile, I am trying very hard not to project my neuroses onto him.

I feel like I�ve been pretty hard on AJ lately. He�s been doing what three-year-olds do best � engaging in activities that have been specifically forbidden for the sole purpose of finding out what happens. As a result, I�ve been playing a lot of bad cop, not a role I enjoy. And the punishments have been getting more severe, as he fails to show remorse. We have gone from time outs, to the temporary disappearance of favorite toys. I hate this. It makes me feel terrible. I hate the constant battles and I want to change the whole dynamic, but I haven�t yet figured out how. In my frustration, my responses have become reactive rather than corrective and I�m concerned that he�s not figuring out that some offenses are worse than others. Explanations seem lost on him, but I keep trying to offer them, in hopes they will one day sink in. In the mean time, how do I teach him the difference between something he shouldn�t do because it causes trouble � dumping out the sugar bowl on the floor, for example -- vs. something that causes pain � hitting me or pulling the cat�s tail � vs. something that is truly dangerous � sticking the screwdriver in the socket, chewing on electrical cords? I am hoping a little more time away each week will give me some new perspective. But I�d settle for being a little less crabby.

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