In response to my entry yesterday, Miss Julia drew my attention to this hilarious article on, as Julia put it, �academic fashion (or lack thereof). [Three links in one sentence. I think that�s a new record for me.]

And just so you all don�t think all I got out of my two-day workshop on university teaching was an in-depth analysis of academic dress, I actually came away much more inspired to begin the construction of my syllabus and even to get going on my teaching philosophy statement (I know I�ve talked about this before, but I�m too lazy to look for it; for those who don�t know, this is a required component of the portfolio Ph.D�s put together to apply for academic jobs. Otherwise, its name is pretty self-explanatory.)

The workshop as a whole was a mixture of sessions dealing with general teaching principles (how to organize a lecture, how to run a discussion, etc.) and protocols specific to teaching at my university (how to put stuff on reserve, how to use the class page and grading software, etc.). By and large, most of it was either common sense, stuff I already knew, or stuff I knew how to figure it out. But it was a useful exercise to be forced to think about these issues in a general sense, particularly since I�m at the stage of the dissertation where it�s all about minutia. I also felt like my teaching instincts were repeatedly validated, by having discussants talk about techniques that were things that I�d already come up with on my own. And some of the discussants had interesting things to say. In particular, I think I got some good new techniques to try for creating a class that is vocal and for discussion management, which is, I think, my weakest area as a teacher.

After I had written the anxious entry I posted the day before the workshop began, odalisk responded to remind me that while I may be anxious about being an older student, it might be more of a benefit than a liability. I think she was right. As I met with other students teaching the same course to compare ideas about syllabi, approaches and texts, I realized how much I�ve changed. They are still too fresh from their qualifying exams and feeling a little afraid to look the senior faculty in the eye. It�s not that I don�t find a few of them scary (one in particular is prone to screaming at students if they don�t answer immediately), but they don�t have the same effect on me that they did when I was their age. I�ve been through a lot since then. The curtain has fallen. Moreover, I�m more comfortable in my own skin. I�m going to be a lot more willing to laugh at myself when I screw something up in class, much more relaxed about handling questions I may not know the answer to. While I certainly feel I still need to prove myself as a scholar and a teacher, I don�t feel I need to do it to my students. It�s going to be all about them and less about my own self-consciousness this time. I�m hoping that saying this will make it true.

It was also good just to meet and speak with colleagues and spend time on campus, to feel like I had a space there and less like an outsider. As I had hoped, I am no longer afraid of the course, but I�m actually really looking forward to it. Part of this is because I got the new description of the course and it�s quite different than I expected. It should not only be much less work to prepare for, but should allow me to have much more of a role in deciding the direction and focus of the course. I�m starting to get excited.

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