AJ is not sleeping. He�s prowling around his room thinking I don�t know about it. He doesn�t seem to understand the acoustical properties of hardwood floors. The reason AJ is still awake is that he had too much fun this morning to possibly consider taking a nap. First, we went to his favorite weekly activity, story time at our local library. Then we went over to his friend N.�s house to play. You�d think these kids were long lost brothers, rather than school friends that last saw each other less than a week ago. They were having so much fun that my sides ached from laughing.

The thing about three year olds is that their social skills are poorly developed, which generally means that they act just like the rest of us might act if we weren�t at all concerned about a) looking stupid or b) invading someone�s personal space or c) hurting someone�s feelings.

For the first half an hour or so that we were there, AJ explored N's impressive stash of toys, pointing out the ones that he had at home and pausing for closer investigation of the unfamiliar. Meanwhile, N. was pulling out his favorites and showing them to me: �Hey, AJ�s Mommy, look at this one!� I was tutored in the varieties of toy snakes, instructed in the strategy of a game known as �Crocodile Dentist� and I had my finger gnawed on by a T-Rex. Miraculously, I survived unscathed.

After the two of them relaxed a little, they began playing together. Whenever they were having a particularly good time, they would hold hands. But they both wanted to call the shots. The crowning moment for me was when N. announced, �Let�s play follow the leader!� and AJ shouted enthusiastically, �Okay!� Whereupon they stomped off in opposite directions, each assuming he was the leader and convinced the other would follow. N. also has a 9 month old baby brother who slept through much of the time we were there but who, when he finally awoke, couldn�t seem to take his eyes off me. And everytime I would look at him, he would crack a huge grin. �He�s my smiley baby,� his mother said, �but I�ve never seen him smile so much, not even for his grandma!� What can I say? I have a way with men. As long as they�re under the age of 2.

Most of the time N. and AJ ran races up and down the long hallway of the house and played basketball in the dining room while N�s mother and I talked. We come from very different backgrounds but seemed to have so much in common in terms of how we see the world and go about our daily lives. This family, as I mentioned in yesterday�s entry, is dealing with a lot right now, but you�d never know it from looking at them. The house was a very happy place to be. I know what they�re doing has got to be incredibly difficult. It was positively inspiring to be with them. N�s mom strikes me as someone who is remarkably good at keeping calm in tough situations, the kind of person who doesn�t ask for what she needs, but is so kind to others that she gets it anyway. She expressed constant amazement and gratitude for her friends, relatives and neighbors who had kicked in to help while she was working nearly full time (she�s a nurse in a neo-natal ICU), AND taking care of two kids under the age of 4 and a very ill husband. I hope someone�s keeping an eye on her too (and I�m willing to bet they are). Because it�s hard to be the strong one all the time.

Shortly before it was time for us to go, total silence descended on the house. Where three-year-olds are involved, this is not generally a good thing. We went to investigate and found N. and AJ sitting side-by-side on the floor of N�s room reading I-Spy books together. �Please, Mommy, I don�t want to go yet!� AJ implored. �AJ doesn�t have to go, AJ�s Mom.� �He can stay here.� But AJ was getting the glassy-eyed look of a boy in need of a nap. �Not today, but maybe you can come over to our house sometime soon,� I said. N. looked at his mom. �Is after my nap okay?� We managed to put them off until next week. As we started to get ready to go, N. rummaged through his shelf and pulled off a book. �Here, AJ. You want to borrow this?� It was a colorful pop-up book about jungle animals. �That�s a big complement,� N�s mother said. �That�s his favorite book. He reads it every day.� I protested, but N. really wanted AJ to have it. We promised to bring it back at school tomorrow, thanked them all profusely and waved goodbye.

As AJ trudged to the car, kicking at the snow with the toes of his shoes, �You know what, Mommy?� �What?� �I love N.� �Me too.�

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