My head�s been all wrapped up in work of late, and so I started this entry where I was going to share some of my half-baked ideas about my recent rereading of a controversial text in my field. But just as I was about to post, that Chronicle article on academics who blog that I wrote about here came back to haunt me, and I thought better of it. My first (I think) conscious self-censorship in this space. It�s too bad, too, because I�d be curious to see what the debate looks like to those outside of our often insular field.

But the thing is, I�m on the job market for the first time. It�s really the only chance I get to put my best side forward because there�s not enough of a record of my bad side yet. I can�t afford to be even tangentially associated with half-baked ideas at the moment. Nor overbaked, for that matter. Done to perfection is what I�m aiming for. I fear that a mention of the text I was going to write about would get google hits. And so I have to bite my proverbial tongue. At least until I�m employed.

But I must say, I haven�t been working too hard on the employment front, other than getting myself psychologically prepared. My goal is to polish off a couple more chapters so I have something to show for myself when I send off my requests for letters of recommendation. And really, I should just get off my ass and start writing cover letters, because at least two of these applications are only looking for contact information, no actual letters as yet.

On the recommendation of a friend, I picked up a copy of Kathryn Hume�s Surviving Your Academic Job Hunt: Advice for Humanities PhDs and I have to say, I�m actually enjoying reading it. Why? Because Hume is so freakishly thorough (one might even say anal). The advice and models, I must say up front, are extremely helpful overall. But she sets out a calendar for how to approach a job search that is so insanely detailed as to be entertaining. Number 11 on the list of tasks: �Get a flu shot in November if you Can; if not, get it in December.� I half expect Hume to be calling me up to let me know when my doctor�s appointment is. After all, she also tells me not only what to wear to an interview, but when and where to buy my interview clothes and recommends that I wear the clothes around a bit before the first interview so that they don�t look TOO new. Not that this isn�t good advice, but it just serves to emphasize this infantilizing culture that is the world of the graduate student. Mommy�s holding my hand.

Generally speaking, at this point in my life, I�m more comfortable with being the one doing the hand-holding. Which is probably why it�s more than time for me to get the hell out of graduate school. But still, this whole job search thing is a little scary. I really do not want to mess it up.

Fortunately, I have AJ around to distract me. He�s so much in love with learning things for the sake of learning them, that it�s a joy to see. He spent an hour this afternoon at the library doing math problems on the computer and came home and helped me study my Italian vocabulary by taking charge of my flash cards. He�s a great cheerleader and he was very proud of me for having a much bigger pile of cards in the �I know� pile than the �I need to study� pile. Perhaps AJ, too, is preparing for a career in education. Heaven help him.

0 people said it like they meant it