Last night as I was folding a boxload of Finding Nemo� valentines, writing AJ�s name on them in crayon and painstakingly covering the envelopes with rainbow colored heart stickers I thought, �What the helll am I doing?�

Valentine�s Day was never a holiday that seemed worthy of too much attention. In fact, it was always the source of some personal embarrassment. When I was in elementary school and every other kid was bringing prefab valentines with the favorite Disney characters of the moment and bearing slogans with horrible puns (a la Nemo: �I fish you a Happy Valentine�s Day!�), my mom always made us bring homemade ones. I always liked actually making the valentines. But it was never cool to be the only kid in the 3rd grade bringing them.

When I was in college, I was always irked by the plethora of floral arrangements, never for me or my friends, that seemed to pile up in the lobby on Valentine�s Day and I began a tradition that I continued for over a decade of throwing a St. Valentine�s Day wake. The rules for the wake were simple. All guests had to be single. Attire was all black, of course. The only food permitted was chocolate and the only drink was hard liquor. Music had to be suitably depressing. In the later years of the wake, when I was in my early years of grad school, one of my friends used to make kick-ass mix tapes of depressing songs. There was always a lot of Pat Benatar. I had to fold the party when there were no longer enough single people to pull it off, but I was very sad to see it go.

It�s not that I have anything in particular against romance. I�m just not very fond of pink. I also don�t consider romance a public event. And all of this begs the question of why two year olds are swapping valentines anyway. They can�t read. They can�t write their names. And AJ can�t even tell you the names of most of the kids in his class. What�s the point other than making the mothers support the card industry and work on their crayon penmanship skills?

AJ and I actually did make some homemade valentines, for his relatives and his teachers. I didn�t think his classmates would appreciate the work we put in. They are rather amazing collages of origami paper, metallic doilies, glitter, assorted stickers, felt hearts and small stick-on jewels. Besides, they�re probably a choking hazard. For me, the project was a way of finding something AJ and I both really enjoyed doing. So many of AJ�s games these days are mind-numbing for grown-ups. I find myself thinking of my mom a lot these days. When I was AJ�s age, she was twelve years younger than I am now. I can�t imagine having had a toddler when I was that age, I was living rather recklessly. I had my own apartment, and I was still hosting the annual wake. It seems very far away from here.

By the way, today is RS536's birthday. If you feel so inclined, click over there and send her many happy returns.

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