Well, I�m still a zombie, but this time it�s not due to the absence of sleep but the persistent presence of Nyquil in my system. Ironically, I took the Nyquil to help me sleep but woke up with the mother of all spring colds. I�m sure there�s a karmic lesson in there somewhere.

Amazingly, I had a really good work day yesterday, despite the lack of sleep. I�ve just reorganized the dissertation. Again. I�m really hoping this is the last time I have to do this. I think it�s a lot tighter now. I�ve been having a lot of trouble trying to tie the introductory matter together and I think I�ve found a way to do it.

I�m really amazed at how much of this stuff I keep in my head and carry around with me all the time. A friend who, while we were in college, observed me writing a paper noted that when I sat down to write it looked like I was taking dictation. For me most of the good stuff has already taken place before I put pen to paper. By the time I sit down to write, it�s just about all there.

I�ve known this about myself for a long time, but somehow I thought things would be different with a project as large as a dissertation. It�s not that I don�t take notes. Well, actually, I don�t take a lot of notes. I read books then I write. But I write a lot of notes to myself into draft 1. The first revision generally involves checking sources I think I�m quoting against the paper to make sure I�m remembering things correctly. The advantage to this system is that I can work rather quickly. The disadvantage to relying on memory is that it�s fallible. If you forget where something came from, it can take forever to chase it down. The other problem is that sometimes my memory is too good. I�ve always got to be careful about inadvertent plagiarism. If I like a turn of phrase, I often remember it literally. And if it�s been long enough since I read the book, I might not remember it�s not mine. I can see how people like Doris Kearns Goodwin and the late Stephen Ambrose could inadvertently get into trouble. As a result, I�ve become an absolute fanatic about footnotes. I footnote everything. When I realize that I�m wishing I could footnote my footnotes, then I know I�ve gone too far.

The material of my dissertation starts to feel almost like a second language to me. I�m so familiar with it that I can move it around and call up what�s needed when it�s useful. But it requires getting into the proper mindset, losing my self-consciousness, being absorbed by the story I�m telling, to get things right. It takes time and attention for me to get in that mindset and lately, since AJ�s naps have been getting shorter and I�ve been doing more and more of my work at night. I�ve been feeling like my facility of the language is waning. Yesterday I felt fluent. I hope I can parlay that into another productive morning. I�m off to write.

0 people said it like they meant it