It continues to rain steadily. I woke up to the sound this morning. I slept late (late for me being past 6) because of the dark skies, and because AJ slept late too. My husband had already gotten up to go for a sodden run. The rain is amplified in the bedroom because our ceilings are vaulted to the beam and there�s a skylight in the bathroom. It was such a soothing way to wake up, in solitude in the semi-darkness to the sound of the drumming rain.

I awoke in that half-dream state where you can simultaneously exist in waking and sleeping worlds. I remember little about last night�s dreams except that in the last one I was pregnant and excited about it. The second child question has been weighing on our minds of late � do we or don�t we? And if so, when? So many pros and cons to consider.

I�ve been feeling a bit guilty about the whole idea, as my oldest friend and her husband have been going through hell with the whole fertility clinic thing. And now it appears that an ancient health problem may have been misdiagnosed and the whole thing looks hopeless and may end in a hysterectomy. They are talking about adoption, but I can tell their hearts aren�t in it yet. They are two of the most wonderful people I know and would be wonderful parents, but they�ve been given a very raw deal (the fertility thing is only part of it). They�ve done everything right in their lives and fate continues to screw them. I�d be angry if I could figure out whom to be angry with.

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