Today is AJ�s last day of school and my last morning of freedom, at least until next week when (fingers crossed) the new babysitter will hopefully start.

I am totally freaked out at the prospect of hiring household help. I alternately worry that I�m going to treat her badly or that I�m going to spend all my time trying to help her, therefore defeating the purpose of having a babysitter. I�m also weirded out about having someone spend large amounts of time in my house. I am a hermit at heart. She�s coming by tomorrow afternoon to talk to us. She�s very perky.

But back to AJ. The children were all piling in this morning laden with gifts. Being a bad parent, I had totally forgotten about the possibility that this was an occasion that probably required gifts, so at 9:00 last night I was driving like a bat out of hell to the local nursery, fortuitously open until 10, to scare up something that approximated a thank you gift for his three teachers. Thanks to the late hour and the fact that my husband was already in his pajamas when I left (yeah, we go to bed pathetically early, but please consider the fact that AJ popped out of bed this morning raring to go at the ungodly hour of 4:50 a.m.), I got to take the fun car, which is much more capable of speed and handling fast corners than the mommobile, which shudders with fear if you try to take it over 60. I was cranking Fountains of Wayne in the car and singing along at the top of my lungs, as I am wont to do when left alone in a car. I pulled into the parking lot, completely empty except for the employee cars, and walked in. The cashier nodded at me at me as I walked in and I responded with what I intended to be a friendly �hi,� but, since I�d had the stereo cranked, came out at a decibel level much more appropriate for carrying on a conversation at a Pixies concert. I slunk to the nether-regions of the shrubbery display in embarrassment. I�m such a dork.

I keep hoping that one of these days I�m going to feel like I know how to act like a parent, but I feel as inept as ever. I suppose I should just get used to it.

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