The conference paper is done! The handouts are done! They�ll be in the mail to the prize committee and my session chair today! It�s a couple minutes two long, but I can fix that in the next couple of weeks. Despite my belly-aching, I feel really good about it and my readers have only further encouraged me by making minor proof-reading changes and saying things like, �wow, that�s a really important statement you�re making,� and �that was really fun to read.�

The last time I gave a paper at a national conference I was petrified. It was a number of years ago and I was still in my coursework. I didn�t feel at all qualified to speak in public. The idea that someone might ask me questions horrified me. But it�s amazing what a dissertation will do. While many days I feel as inept and unqualified as ever, a little mastery is a powerful thing. I�m excited to talk. I�m hoping people ask questions. I almost kissed one of my readers (virtually, seeing as he�s in a different state), for asking a question that I had really wanted to talk about but hadn�t had the space. I may have to plant him in the audience at my presentation.

It�s not just a matter of confidence, though. It�s just not about me in the same way it was at my last paper. It�s about my work, the subject, which I find supremely interesting and engaging. When I�m excited about something, I want to share it, to have others examine it and tell me what they think. The fear of being wrong is subverted. by the desire to know as much as possible.

This will be short and sweet today. I need to run to Kinko�s before I take AJ to playgroup in an hour and I�m still in my pajamas (!). And since today�s our anniversary, I�ll probably be off-line for the rest of the day. I�ll have to save my nostalgic ramblings on our wedding and honeymoon (in elgan�s neck of the woods) for another time.

And speaking of weddings, everyone pop on over to miss leigh�s and wish her well. She�s getting married this weekend. Congratulations!

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