When I was in high school (high school number 4, that is � the one from which I graduated; see my 100 things list for more info), there was a group of five of us girls that coalesced toward the end of senior year. We had been friends in pairs and trios, but somehow the group became one that, despite great changes in circumstance and geography, has managed to stay in touch. S. was the one I spent the most time with. She and I were Model U.N. partners (I�m a geek and I�m proud!). She�s now a mom of two autistic kids and a full-time advocate for people with autism. My friend JP is the one who holds us all together. She and I have always had a slightly bickerly, sisterly relationship, possibly because our family backgrounds were somewhat similar and we were both brought up by raving liberals in a sea of conservatism. LM and I worked at the same clothing store after school. Finally, there�s JG. I didn�t know her well in high school at all � she was a friend of LM�s and would sometimes hang out with us.

After graduation, we all went our separate ways. S, LM and JG all went to the state university. JP went to a private college in the next state over and I escaped to another region altogether. We�d reunite in summers and at Christmas. Our first college spring break, we all met up at my parents� beachside condo for a vacation together. S and JG smuggled gin in shampoo bottles, and worried they�d be busted on the plane. They weren�t, but the gin tasted incredibly soapy. But since none of us had ever had gin before, we weren�t really sure if that was a function of the shampoo bottles. We spent the week frying ourselves by day and drinking soapy gin and playing cards by night. When I was trying to decide whether or not to move to Chicago, I flew out and slept on LM and JG�s floor for a couple of days. And then we all moved further apart.

Although our lives have changed a lot, but JP keeps us all together. She makes a point of checking in with the rest of us every now and then and we all know we can disappear for a while and still find JP and reconnect when we�re ready. A few years ago, when I was living in the Ukrainian Village neighborhood of Chicago, JP informed me that a black sheep friend, C, who would have been a member of the group of five except that she made a point of being groupless, was living in Chicago and maybe I�d want to give her a call. I did. It turned out C., who had lived across the street from me in high school and had gone to college an hour away from me (we used to make the cross-country trek together every fall in her ancient, over-stuffed Volvo wagon), had been living less than 4 blocks from me for over a year and we hadn�t known it. We had a celebratory dinner in honor of our reunion. Two weeks later C. moved to Scotland and I never heard from her again. That same week, my now-husband asked me to marry him and shortly thereafter I moved too.

Last night I got an e-mail from JP informing me that she�d received an after-the-fact wedding announcement from C, who was living in NY and working as an actress. I was happy to hear it and replied to JP to tell her so and, as long as I was writing, asked for the addresses of the others so I might send Christmas cards this year. JP, of course, obliged. And I discovered another weird coincidence: for the last year, JG has been living 8 miles from me (in this area, that is the metaphysical equivalent of 4 blocks) and I drive within a block or two of her house at least twice a week. I emailed JG instantly and got an enthusiastic reply a couple of hours later. We talked by phone this afternoon and will catch up in person next week when we get our two boys, about a year apart in age, together to play.

The more I grow out of my friends, the more I seem to grow into them again.

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